Bev Churchill, KC

The lives of children are affected by decisions that are made for them and about them.  Where they live; who they live with; how much time they spend with each parent and extended family members; or what school will they attend.

Do we get these decisions right?  Well…. sometimes, but not always.

Can we make it better?  Probably.

How can we make it better?  Obtaining more information.

Where do we get this information?  From the individual who will be or may be affected by the decision.

When should we get the information?  As early as possible.  Before the decisions is made.

 

These are all questions that have been asked and answered.  Children have views.  Children have rights. Children have the right UN Convention on the Rights of Children to express their views about decisions that affect or may affect them, just like anyone else would and would expect.

 

Does a child make the decision?  This is a very common question and the answer is “No!”.  Children do not decide, but children can provide clarity and many times they add simplicity to what to adults seems a complex.  Obtaining the views of a child through the non-evaluative Hear the Child Interview and Report process is often exactly what may be needed to do the following:

1. Provide better information for the decision(s)
2. Make better decisions about the child and for the child
3. Reduce the conflict between the parents
4. Improve the relationship between the parent and the child
5. Improve the relationship between parents

 

Children love and should love each parent.  Each parent-child relationship is unique and special.  A healthy parent-child relationship is critical to the growth and development of a child.  It deserves focus and attention.  It is unique to each parent with each child. Each child will have their own views on that relationship.  How do we get this information to preserve that unique relationship if we do not ask, and, equally important, if we do not listen?

 

It is also very important to recognize that because of a child’s love for each parent that if a parent asks the child, the parent may receive a response the child may feel is what that parent wants to hear. It may not be a response that fully expresses what the child wants as the child does not want to potentially negatively impact their relationship with either parent.

 

The Hear the Child Society maintains a Roster of qualified child interviewers who have extensive training in the non-evaluative Hear the Child Interview and Report process ( Information Sheet, Agreement for a Hear the Child Interview and Report and Intake Form ).

 

Parents can learn from their children.  A child can help their parents focus on what is truly important to that child, generally:  to maintain a loving, caring and healthy relationship between the child and each parent and each significant adult in that child’s live.

 

Obtaining the views of the child through the non-evaluative Hear the Child Interview and Report process by a qualified Roster child interviewer should be considered when decisions are to be made about children and the rights and interests of children that will or may affect a child.

 

I am very proud to be on the Roster of the B. C. Hear the Child Society (www.hearthechild.ca)